One of my favorite books growing up was Little House in the Big Woods. I loved the images that my mind’s eye visualized of the Ingalls’ sweet small home.
From the comfort of my own bed and bedroom, it was easy to romanticize the idea of everyone in a one room home, baking and cooking over the fire in the huge fireplace, and later bundled under layers of blankets in the dead of winter to stay warm.
Laura made it sound so sweet and wonderful. I don’t recall a single argument or shouting match being mentioned.
I would love to know Ma and Pa’s secret for keeping the peace.
Small spaces can be difficult and bring out issues that may not otherwise occur in a larger space.
The fact is, by today’s standards, we live in the same sort of space.
Oh, we may be spoiled by our HVAC, indoor plumbing and other modern conveniences, but our living space is quite similar in size to the Ingalls.
Last year I wrote a post briefly addressing our living situation. At that time, I had planned on writing a series addressing some of how we make our small space work, but if I’m honest, I got caught up in a touch of embarrassment and fear.
We live in a two bedroom home, with 4 children.
Wait! Isn’t this blog called “Living the Life Fantastic”?! What’s so freaking fantastic about that??
We have no choice at this point. Randy purchased the home to flip, right before the housing market crashed and before he knew he’d have a family. We are underwater in this housing market. (Ironically, the house was 3 [very tiny] bedrooms, and he converted it to 2 shortly before we met)
We plan on making interior changes and building on in the near future, but for now, this is what we have.
Some days it’s difficult. Most days, it’s an amazing blessing.
Our children have bonded in such a way that I had thought I could only wish for. They are ‘besties’, and I firmly believe that this sharing of space has taught them more about sharing and respect than I ever could have, left to my own devices, in any other situation.
I am grateful for this time.
And with so many wishing they had a home at all, I am unbelievably grateful for this tiny space we inhabit.
Over the next few weeks, I will be (finally) writing that series on how we make our small space work. I’d love to hear your own ‘small space’ ideas.
This is a great post! I loved Little House in the Big Woods, too. Partly due to the name coincidence but mostly due to their fascinating, beautiful way of life. I’m glad you’re writing this series! I love that your children are so close! I’m an only child and (still) sometimes wish I had siblings to bond with. Looking forward to more <3
Thanks, Laura! I think I ready that series 5 or 6 times. The Big Woods was always my favorite.
I grew up one of 3 and wondered what it was like to be an only child, or to have a sister (my siblings are older brothers)… It’s fascinating how these things shape us. I’m always intrigued by the whole middle/oldest/youngest/only dynamics.
Me too! I LOVE reading about birth order and how it affects us so much. I’m like the only child poster girl…When it comes to strangers I definitely feel much more comfortable in the company of adults/older people than people my own age. And even now as a young adult, I’m way territorial about my “stuff”! Sharing lessons apparently never really sunk in ;) But I’m also really comfortable being by myself and doing things alone.
Fascinating stuff!
The Big Woods was always my favorite too.
I was the only daughter with 3 brothers. They were educated and I was not. I eventually divorced and was forced to raise my 2 girls without support. I eventually got an Associates Degree in Nursing, but also became the sole caretaker of my parents. Old social habits about the roles of men and women are difficult to change.
I didn’t have a sister, but bonded with my neighbor across the street. She was an only child and I had 3 brothers. She and I were very close, but she eventually became a jealous rival in high school. Throughout our adult lives, we tried to rekindle our friendship, but she always seemed too demanding with a lack of understanding.
She insisted on a luxurious lifestyle at the expense of others. I grew up in a frugal, hard-working environment, which has remained throughout my adult life.
Just because you’re close for a few years, doesn’t always mean you’ll remain close throughout a lifetime. My life is a lot less stressful being away from old rivals.
My 3 brothers were always arguing and fist fighting, especially my middle brother. My mother gave up and I, the only daughter, became the referee that jumped in to separate them. Their bullying behavior remains as adults. It was no fun then and still no fun now. I do my best to keep distance between us.
Karla, After growing up as 1 of 6 and living in what was considered, at the time, a big home I am grateful that I shared a room until I was a senior in high school. All 6 of us, know how to share and be a team player in ways that I just don’t see in many people today. I truly believe it is because we learned to live together, sharing bedrooms and 2 bathrooms for 8 people. I, too, consider it a blessing that my parents gave me and believe your children will also. Thank you for always being so honest in your posts. It’s refreshing!
Thanks for you comment, Kelly!
I think it has taught them so much, as well. :)
My 2 girls shared a bedroom, but were complete opposites. My older daughter was very difficult. I frequently had to separate them by asking one to stay in the bedroom and one to stay in the living room. They remained estranged throughout their adult lives as well. They were always like night and day in every way.
I don’t think it’s always a matter of trying or forcing kids to get along, because no matter what I tried, nothing seemed to work well for them. It was an intense childhood experience for all of us.
Well, we’re right there with you. 7 of us, one bathroom, 3 bedrooms. And mine are BIGGER. But we often joke we have too many bedrooms, since everyone would rather sleep in a pile on the livingroom floor, anyway. :D
Recently we took a tip from my buddies at IKEA (I know, but I LIKE them)and built the girls a “walk-in closet”… set of wardrobes that leave the bed (with trundle) on one side and put the clothes on the other.
Very chic, I assure you. ;)
And if we don’t get enough family togetherness? Tomorrow we get the new Aliner Ranger trailer for vacations. 90 square feet of family fun. I can’t wait. :)
Hang in. Your family is amazing, and so are you.
lol Brooke – someone ends up on the couch at least once a week :) We haven’t gotten to the piles on the floor yet!!
We’ve been looking for a better clothing organization solution. We have to have 2 sets of bunk beds at this point, so it’s been a challenge!! :/
Thanks for the comment and compliment. Can’t wait to hear about the vacations. If nothing else, you can use it as a spare bedroom, right? lol
Try pull-out storage baskets beneath the bunk beds and limit clothing to a few recombined outfits. My girls did very well with 2 weeks of outfits throughout their lives. This included a pair of dress shoes, sneakers and boots. As well as a hooded sweater and hooded winter jacket.
Thanks for this, Karla. We also live in a small space, though not as cramped with three of us as you must be with twice that many – which I can’t imagine us surviving – so Good On Ya! Looking forward to hearing all about it.
Oh, and if you start to feel too embarrassed – I’m 53 – and still rent. Yes, in America. I blame myself(in Steve Martin voice, not sure where from)
Always glad to hear how you guys are all doing.
Good to hear from you, John!!!
I think more and more people are finding themselves in similar situations, and we create so much shame around that, when really, our living arrangements are still so much better off than most of the world!
I’m elderly and still rent. I end up paying more than my fair share, because my husband has always worked infrequently. He lives beyond his means and I usually go without. There’s rarely a compromise. Otherwise, I cannot afford a place of my own.
We live in a story and a half with 4 children. And I am trying to be content. This is exactly what I need to read!
Thanks for commenting, Gianna.
I’ve lived in small homes and apartments since I’ve had children, and it’s been something I’ve struggled with off and on. I try to keep it in perspective, but I do find myself sometimes wondering what it’s like to live in the big homes I drive by.
Bigger means more time to clean, maintain, finance, etc.
It’s really not a luxury.
It’s easier to complicate life than it is to keep it simple.
I live in a small home. I inherited many beautiful heirlooms, but they have to be kept in the attic. I wish I had space for them.
Something else we have in common, ha! TheBarn is less than 800 square feet and has one actual bedroom and one bathroom. We’ve been SERIOUSLY looking at what we need to do to add on since we found out I was pregnant with baby#3… she’s two months old now. I think we’re lucky – we have a high ceiling (so we don’t feel so cramped… part of the time) and LOTS of shelf space. Clothing organization is not prime, but with a three-year-old who LOVES to test out other people’s clothes, I don’t think it can be. I think the size of our house doesn’t bother me as much as NEEDING a bedroom (as a haven from the insanity of the rest of the house; I visualize my bedroom, as a mini vacation exercise). I do wonder how people keep their kids out of this and out of that and out of other things and how they DON’T always have random things in the floor or coating every available surface, then I realize the “average” home has about half as many people and 3 times as much space as we have… and I feel better about our craziness. ha!
We must be twins!! :)
Please keep me posted on any ingenious ideas you discover and/or try!! I pinky-swear to do the same!
My father, as a child, slept in one large bed with his 2 brothers. They shared one room and their only sister had her own room. They spent plenty of time outdoors and with friends.
If your children are close in age, they may be able to share wardrobes.
Vertical storage is claustrophobic. Rather than shelving, closets or cupboards, try pull-out storage baskets beneath a couch, chair, bed or table. For spaciousness, try light colors, recessed lighting, arched windows or skylights.
Living in joint families has been the norm in India since ages. I too grew up in one. We were two families with three kids each and our grandmother living in approximately 600 sq.ft. house. Don’t ask me how? To be frank, it wasn’t heaven on earth but definitely the advantages outweighed the disadvantages.
Rent, grocery, utility bills were shared. All the education material, personal belongings were handed over to the younger ones. Economic recession or no recession did not affect us. Most importantly, we knew what exactly was going on in each others lives. The concept of a therapist, counselor was non existent.
Today, we are all adults living in nuclear families of our own. Distance has not made much of a difference to us. We are still close as before.
I still believe close proximity creates that bonding. My kids are best friends – 11yo down to the 4yo… They are lost without each other. I know that may/will change some day, but I’m grateful that they have each other right now.
My husband and I have talked about not wanting a big house because we’d find ourselves being away from the kids… I like our small space, it makes us a close family and we talk everyday and there’s just something more special about it. Thanks for sharing, I know how you feel!
exactly. I don’t like the idea of having to hunt my children down in our own home!!
At times, in a small space, you’re forced to cooperate and get along.
My mom is the 7th of 10 and grew up in a 3 bedroom, one bath house. They had roll-away cots and she shared with all her brothers (her three sisters were 10+ years older than her and had their own bedroom). At some point my grandfather put a second toilet with a shower curtain around it in the basement/garage, which is also where they did all the butchering and preserving. But they had 50(?) acres of land so as much as possible they would just be outside.
In that age before seatbelt laws, etc., they also had a 4-door sedan (no van!!) and everyone would just pile in as best they could. Every Sunday after church everyone was just expected to get in the car when it was time to go, but inevitably one or more of the little boys would be distracted, playing around, and get left behind — no head counts. The kids knew to just wait on the front steps of the church, because eventually they would be missed and somebody would come back to get them. Since there are no stories of “remember that kid… Jimmy… he used to live with us…” it seems that they never permanently forgot anybody. :)
We recently moved our three children out of our 3400 sq ft house into a 1470 sq ft house, so I know what you mean about the mess piling up. But it is SO MUCH EASIER in the smaller house — the messes look worse, but are truly not as bad, because they take up so much less physical space. And we all spend a lot more time together. I don’t know if I want to stay quite this small for forever, but certainly my desires have changed since I’ve experienced the blessing of living smaller.
HA! What fun stories of your mom! I always enjoy hearing family members share their tales of growing up. It’s amazing what we were able to get by with before, isn’t it? I really do appreciate having less space, and therefore less STUFF!
You aren’t kidding about the messes looking worse when they do happen though! lol
Hi Karla,
Great article and great replies. Both were uplifting for me to read. We bought all of the “Little House” DVD series so we could watch them as a family instead of current TV shows. We love the first season of “Little House” with a episode called “Country Girls.”
In this economy it’s great to hear about others making it work in small quarters.
Unfortunately, so many are being forced into it, and struggle with the downsizing. Part of my hope in sharing our story is that it can and does work, and creates so many wonderful opportunities for families.
I enjoy watching and reading the series with family :) Always a favorite!
I feel like I live in a mansion! We have a 3 bedroom, 1 bath, 1400 sq ft and only 5 of us living in it. My hubby is concerned that we’ll need a larger home if we are blessed with any more little ones. However, I do like the size and space of our home and do not want a larger home. I realized that if I could declutter and purge all the stuff we havit would seem that our house is larger. So, in the last few months I have been actively decluterring, purging, organizing and trying to figure out what we really use our space for. Our three children (2 boys, 1 girl) share a bedroom and the third bedroom is a playroom/guests room. My dad installed a toilet in our basement – it’s nice to have the extra seat ;)
Anyway, all that to say, I really appreciate reading all this blog offers – it is so encouraging and motivates me to do more decluttering and organizing.
Thank you, Jenni!
I’ve been amazed by the ways that we and others have made it work. I so love our little home. And yes — decluttering makes a huge difference.
It certainly requires creativity! It’s why we waited a bit to see how we used the space in the house before determining what to do.
We will be adding on to our home soon, but we are actually not going to add any more square footage to the house – only living space. We have a vaulted ceiling across the front of our home and we are going to add a regular ceiling and then add a bedroom and an office above.
Thanks for the comment!!
Start with a list of what you do need. Keep multi-purpose items. Then sort the remainder to donate, etc.
Thanks for this post!! I have been struggling with our small 1000 sq ft house with four kids!! We are yearning for something more, but something deeper is telling me it is okay. The space we think we need is based on the ideals of today’s society not a truly founded need. Anywho, my kiddos are close in age and they enjoy their time together. Even though conflicts do occur I am happy for the closeness that this little space given us.
I see it as comparable to eating out vs. preparing food at home. One is ‘easier’ (eating out and big home – plenty of room to just keep acquiring things) and one takes more work/thought/prep (preparing food at home and small home – getting it organized, using the space well) but the payoffs for making the effort are huge and very much worth it!
My grandmother did not have a kitchen counter. She stored dishes, pans and dry goods under a porcelain kitchen sink. She kept a portable tray of dry condiments on top of an adjacent fridge. The large, single sink had a grooved, flat extension for drying clean dishes, but no dish rack. The kitchen table was rarely used, except for dining.
Rather than a couch, she used a twin mattress and bed frame as a daybed. She sewed and stuffed various puffy pillows for the daybed. My grandfather had a comfortable living room chair. The children and grandchildren often sat or played on the floor. They used a floor lamp and ceiling light at night.
They did not have a coffee table, end tables, table lamps, book shelves or an office.
My grandmother was usually seen sitting on her one-foot-high bench. The bench was rectangular with a small rectangular slot in the center of the seat, which made it easy to carry around with one hand. She used her apron pockets to carry small items wherever she went. She was always busy with something in her lap.
While sitting on her bench, she:
Crocheted doilies, curtains, bedspreads and blankets.
Peeled and cut vegetables by hand into a bowl in her lap.
Wrote out bills, letters, grocery and to do lists.
Mended clothing.
Folded laundry.
Helped with homework.
Played with her children and grandchildren.
Watched TV.
Sat on the sun porch.
Sat at different windows to enjoy different views of her yard.
Rested outdoors after working in her flower and vegetable gardens.
I believe her little bench kept her agile, strengthened her balance and prolonged her life while she worked hard to raise a family with 4 children. Her home, yard and gardens were always immaculate. Everything was always very simple, elegant, organized and in its place.
She passed away at 82 years of age. I still have her bench and many fond memories…